Spring is normally the time to awaken from winter hibernation - where we open windows, clean like crazy and prepare our homes for the upcoming longer, warmer days. For the most part, I'm on board. I've looked around my humble digs and have conjured ways to liven up the now drag looking interior of my little bubble.
What I'm missing, however, are the connections - the people that used to fill my home with love and laughter all have dispersed and are now cultivating bubbles of their own. It truly sucks but I thoroughly understand. I've had to alter my bubble within the last year or so to tend to my own little garden but truth be told, I miss them.
I often feel like older means becoming more separate - to make way for the new paths and new life changes that are occurring to each and every one of us. That thought - that personal, live-altering growth is the thing that has the ability to disconnect us from ones we once evolved around - is not a nice one. It is a lonely one. A sucky one, even.
Family - whether crafted from biology or sociology - is important because it gives us a sense of how "normal" relates to us. Now, don't get me wrong: I would be a fool to believe that there truly is a such thing as normal but what's normal for me is a lot easier to gauge by the ones I hold dear. They are my sanity - my roots, my loves.
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” ― John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love
That's where the love affair with photography steps in:
My reasons may be somewhat selfish but to watch how love exists gives me life and fills me up. Witnessing and capturing THAT kinda love lets me know that the world hasn't fully turned to crap, if you know what I mean.
So what do I do in the meantime? I must tend to my own garden: prune away the overgrown and dying parts of my existence and nourish any and all things that are trying to flourish and grow. Sounds easy, doesn't it? It isn't. It is causing me to look - I mean REALLY look - at not only my surroundings but at the other components that comprise my environment...blech.
I'm going to find ways to stay sane, lol.